My Story

Hi, my name is Lori, a Canadian who has been living in Scotland since 2002. I did not have a good start to life being born breach with several health problems and having to be revived on multiple occasions because I stopped breathing in the first few months of life. I spent a lot of time in the hospital for my first 11 months of life. I constantly struggled with allergies, ear infections, and asthma, which led to a lot of hospital admissions and doctors appointments. 

I was the second youngest with three older siblings and one younger sibling. My household was very chaotic. I only realised this as an adult. There was domestic abuse between my parents which I do not recall a lot of apart from the shouting; but that just seemed to be the norm in my household. The abuse I endured started happening when I was about 7 or that is my earliest memory of it. It started off with sexual abuse then progressed to emotional/mental and physical abuse. The sexual abuse continued until I was about 11. The rest continued well into my teenage years. The abuser was my father. 

Throughout my educational years I struggled a lot with academics. I was placed into a "special class" (they didn't have a name for it in the 80s). The areas I struggled in were reading, writing and mathematics. Looking back I often think about why I struggled so much. It was probably a combination of a chaotic family home, undiagnosed ADHD, or just missing a lot of school because I was always ill. One doctor wanted to put me on Ritalin as I was such a hyperactive child who could not sit still. 

Throughout primary school I always felt I did not fit in. We came from a poorer family and we wore mainly second hand clothes which I got teased about. I was bullied a lot in school and I just ended up hanging around the teachers which then caused more bullying. High school was pretty much the same. I was only bullied by a few people but I did not have too many friends because I just could not connect with anyone. 

I rebelled as a teenager and I went against anything my parents asked of me. I hung around with the wrong crowds, disobeyed rules, did not return home when I was supposed too, and engaged in some risky behaviours. At the age of 15 my father kicked me out with one last wallop with a 2x4 peice of wood to my hip. This is when my life started to spiral. I dropped out of school and turned to drugs just to block all the pain. Then at 17 I fell pregnant and that was when my life changed and I started my healing journey for the childhood abuse. 

My father was charged and found guilty of multiple abuse charges; however, he died before sentencing. I then started working with a trauma psychiatrist to help me make sense of it all. 

Unfortunately, it did not stop there. It continued in relationships I had. Not only abuse but the defense mechanisms I had put in place to protect myself. I did a lot of healing over the years with the help of professionals as well as from other people I met along the way. It is not always easy to just keep going. My life was chaotic. It affected my parenting and relationships. However, I continued  my education and obtained a BA (hons) degree from university as well as other qualifications, all the while raising 4 children and battling breast cancer during my first year of university. 

This is not my whole story. My turning point started 6 years ago. I have grown, thrived and really took control of my life. I am currently writing my life in a book to make others aware they are not alone and to let people see healing is possible.I wanted to leave that little girl behind but instead I am taking her by the hand because she is safe now. 

We all need support and you have to face the darkness before you get to the light. So this is why I started Rising through the Storm. Together we can heal!